Dr. BJ Condrey

I believe that one of the most important questions to consider when aiming for success, advancing within a company, and flourishing as a person is this: Am I difficult to work with?

Chances are, you will probably need to ask those around you rather than try to answer this for yourself.

This question should prompt other questions such as:

1. How do I handle conflict or disagreement?
2. Am I open to constructive feedback?
3. Do I contribute to a positive work environment?
4. Am I flexible, able to adapt in a moment’s notice without becoming negative (although expressing frustration in a healthy way is sometimes appropriate)?
5. How do others perceive my communication style?
6. Can others depend on me to meet deadlines?
7. Do I produce excellent work or do others have to pick up my slack?

I think these questions can help a person improve and better position themselves to be trusted with more and more within any environment.

If you believe the answer to our main question is “No,” then what is the next step? Virtues such as kindness, patience, gentleness, and flexibility (maybe a virtue?) don’t suddenly appear in the human heart. Aristotle goes as far as to say that a specific virtue is the result of performing behaviors that correspond to that specific virtue over and over again until a habit forms. That habit, according to Aristotle, is the virtue. While I think there are limitations to this view, particularly from a Christian perspective, I think it is a helpful start.

In light of Aristotle’s insight, what behaviors can you perform today that align with whatever virtue you lack so that the virtue can take root and begin to grow. It is a slow process, but surely it will benefit one in both their personal and professional lives.

As Lloyd Rindels, one of my mentors during my time in Kansas City said long ago: “Change is slow. Change is hard. But change does come.”